Monday, June 3, 2013

I'll go easy ...sorta ...maybe...

Two years ago I hit a wall. I wanted to delve into my own personal reasons of why I had lost my faith but it went no where. After announcing that I would being doing some introspection I thought to myself how would it sound? What do I include? The whole story or just small snippets of major events? I really couldn't decide on a format. I was pretty much creatively cock blocked by my own mind. Two years later, I realized why I had such a hard time doing so. Context.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Holy F@#%!!! Has it really been 2 years?

I don't know if it's the epic orchestration of horns, strings, voices, synths and drums by Jo Blankenburg along with the also massively epic badassery of Two Steps From Hell but I am currently feeling a bit nostalgic. But if I have learned anything from my past, it's that memories can be deceiving. So I guess I am feeling a bit ironic ...or something or rather. But I digress.

Damn! Has it really been two full years since I've blogged about anything? Crazy. As any blogging atheist knows, the internets are full of us mad bloggers. So I guess being lost in the fray of us baby eating atheist bloggers I decided to take a break from the blogosphere. Not that it matters. I never really wanted to use this as a mode of reaching out to fundies and other Christians and change their minds. It was really about me. Writing was always about a release. Catharsis. If anyone knows me and my surroundings they would understand why. While I do not live in the Bible Belt or any other hot bed for Bible thumping and alter boy diddling--I actually live in Washington State about 40 miles south of Seattle just outside of Tacoma--I am heavily surrounded by beliebers or believers or whatever they call themselves.

Which actually brings me to my point and purpose of, well, writing. Well it's actually my two year silence or absence that's my point. Now I am confused. It's what is contained in that two years of nothingness that actually has me doing what I love to do. Which is writing if you haven't guessed already. Ready? Cue massive anti-climax. Family. This past two years I have spent a great deal of time with my family and I have learned a whole shit sack of new things to know about my family. Vague I know but it'll make sense sooner or later, maybe.

The last time I wrote a blog post on here it was about introspection and why and how I lost my faith. I was what I called a "bubble" Christian and watched my world implode into one big doody pile. But I never really had any context. Why did it happen? Why me? When I looked at my family they were practically all still firm Bible totin', dino ridin' Jesus lovin' Christians. So I spent this last two years talking to my family trying to finger out why the guy in the $6000 dollar suit lost his faith but his family didn't C'MON! After two years, I am still searching and confused.

Not that it was all in vain because I did learn quite a bit of good stuff but I'm still not fully satisfied because frankly it makes no sense to me maybe with the exception of my mother why these people haven't lost their faith when they can see everything I see and sympathize with my position. So before I delve into my introspection I would like to share some context and personal stories about my family and why to this day they do not "waiver" in their faith and why I have come out of this even more strong in my decision to leave mine behind.